As I’ve grown and progressed in my career, I’ve learnt that how you label something affects your response to it. We have mental associations with words, some good and some bad. The words we choose can elicit a positive or negative response. My boss, for example, uses the word ‘challenge’ instead of ‘problem’ or ‘setback’. This de-emphasizes that something bad has happened to us and instead reframes it as something exciting to overcome, a call to prove your worth.
In a similar way, how you describe life determines your relationship with it. Is it that ‘life is an adventure’, something fun and exciting? Perhaps ‘life is a journey’, to meet people and enjoy the experience? Or is it that ‘life sucks’, dreary and depressing? The former analogies give you the feeling that regardless of what happens, it happens for the best. How you frame the situation determines you react to it.
Working from home with a toddler, it can be frustrating to be interrupted often during the day. Many times, it is simply unavoidable: I have to mix a bottle, change his dirty diaper or respond to a tantrum. When I get back to work, my mind is scattered, and I have to take a few deep breaths to calm down. It takes a few minutes to reorient to the work I was doing. Oftentimes, I take to social media to blow off some steam. By the end of the day, I feel like I have accomplished little and feel compelled to work after hours.
In many role-playing games (RPGs), there is the concept of the side quest. These are missions that the player completes in order to gain resources or experience, which allows the player to take on more difficult challenges. It may be defeating 25 skeletons, to gain experience to kill more difficult beasts. Or finding a lost artifact to gain a special token. Whatever it is, it helps us prepare for future trials.
I’ve tried to overcome my frustration by adapting a different perspective. Instead of seeing whatever arises as an interruption, I try to think of it as a ‘side quest’. It’s there to improve me, whether to give me a short break or increase my patience. My personal belief is that no effort is ever wasted. Therefore, every action I perform with attention helps me grow in some way.
I’ve found that by shifting my attitude, I am less flustered when I’m interrupted. I simply think that I have to complete a ‘side quest’ before I return to my main quest, the main goals in my life. Instead of delaying or lamenting my fate, I diligently proceed to the task, and work on it till it has been completed, then I return to my work.
It takes a burden off my mind; instead of getting angry at the interruption or wishing I was back doing work, I can go with the flow and remain focused on the task at hand, doing the best job I can. When I have finished it in its entirety, I then return to my work. In fact, I don’t think about returning to work because I focus 100% on finishing the side quest.
Making this mental shift has helped me stop worrying about interruptions. What tips do you have for remaining unperturbed during the day?